Recently, I sat down with some dear friends who are also strong Catholic leaders. As we discussed the realities of ministry and professional growth, I walked away from our conversation with one specific four-letter word echoing in my mind: HELP.
Why do we, as Catholic leaders, struggle so deeply with asking for help? The truth is, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it is an absolute necessity to avoid burnout, establish lasting infrastructure, and sustain the life of our ministries and projects.
The Myth of the Solo Leader
To understand our hesitation, we have to look back to our original design. God created us in His image and likeness for one core reason: to love and be loved. Throughout Scripture, God constantly invites our participation, not because He needs our help, but because He desires a relationship with us.
When God raised up leaders, He consistently required them to seek help from others to accomplish His mission. Think of Moses at the burning bush. Terrified and doubting his own eloquence, Moses shared his fears with the Lord. God could have forced him to speak alone, but instead, He listened to Moses’s heart and allowed him to enlist the help of his brother, Aaron. We see this collaborative design everywhere: David and Nathan, Elijah and Elisha, and Jesus and the Apostles.
As human beings, we cannot become who God created us to be in isolation, and as Catholic leaders, we cannot grow unless we ask for help.
The Two Blockers: Fear and Ignorance
If collaboration is woven into our design, what stops us from asking for support? It usually boils down to two factors: fear and ignorance.
Fear cripples leadership because it is the opposite of love. This fear wears many masks: the fear of appearing incompetent, the fear of change, the fear of failure, the fear of being a burden, or the fear of rejection when reaching out.
Then, there is ignorance. You simply don’t know what you don’t know. You might have been trained by an incredible leader but were never taught alternative ways to approach a problem. You might know a method that works, but you haven’t stopped to wonder if there is a method that thrives.
Preparing Your Field
Recognizing our fear and ignorance isn’t an excuse to stay stuck; it’s an invitation to take our struggles to prayer and take actionable steps forward. Catholic leaders have an obligation to actively seek out wisdom rather than waiting for it to appear on our doorstep. As Proverbs 2:1-5 reminds us, we must search for understanding “like hidden treasures”.
We often hear that “God does not call the equipped, He equips the called.” While true, this doesn’t mean we passively wait for a miraculous event to equip us. Relationship requires active participation. Proverbs 24:27 advises, “Prepare your work outside, get everything ready for you in the field; and after that build your house.”
It is dangerously easy to become consumed by the narrow strip of land right in front of us. We must pause, get curious, and assess our surroundings, or we will convince ourselves that our immediate stress is all there is. Christ calls us to take action: “Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” (Matthew 7:7-8).
To not seek help is to choose stagnation. Life only thrives where there are life-giving opportunities, and the people around you; your team, your coworkers, your volunteers—are leaders waiting for an invitation.
Knocking at the Door
So, what does it actually look and sound like to knock on the door and initiate a conversation for help? It means deciding that your mission, your team, and you yourself are worth advocating for. Here are three practical places to start knocking:
1. Talk to Your Gatekeepers
Identify the people who hold the gateway to the resources you need, whether that is your pastor, department director, or board. Push past the seeds of doubt and approach them with clarity. You might say: “I truly believe in the mission that we share here and I desire to see it thrive… I would like for us to collaborate on ways that I can grow as a professional to better serve our community. I have looked at possible coaching opportunities… and I hope to discuss how we might be able to partner to make this happen.”
If they tell you “not right now” or cite budget constraints, do not retreat into silence. Treat it as a collaboration and ask: “I understand. What benchmarks would we as a team need to hit before we could revisit this together?”
2. Empower Your Volunteers and Team
Observe the people around you and identify their strengths and charisms. Instead of just doling out tasks to the closest warm body because you are overwhelmed, intentionally invite them into leadership. Try saying: “I observed your work from our last retreat and noticed that you have a keen eye for detail… I think the Lord might have given you a charism for bringing plans to life. I would like to invite you to consider being the lead for the next Fall retreat.”
3. Network Outside Your Silo
Leaders often actively isolate themselves within their own organizations or ministries. We forget that there are other leaders in the trenches battling the exact same issues. Reach out to a fellow minister, director, or Catholic professional. Grab a cup of coffee and ask them how they grew their team or how they approach their higher-ups with new projects. True networking isn’t about business cards; it’s about building a brain trust of people who share the mission to bring Christ to the world.
Your Call to Action
When I look back on my own life, I realize that God invited me into a deeper relationship with Him by inviting me into a relationship with people who inspired me and those that launched a hard reassessment on my life.
How are you preparing your fields right now? Are you researching conferences, re-distributing tasks to empower volunteers, having honest conversations with your own leadership, or seeking out coaching to get from where you are to where you want to be?
What is one thing you can do this week to grow as a leader? And what can you do today to show gratitude for someone who has helped you along the way?
Take that next courageous step. Keep frequenting the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist and Reconciliation. Answer God’s call. Ignite your leadership.
Leave a Reply